Tag Archives: gnocchi

The Week in Tweets – May 6, 2016

The best part of this weekend already is the fact that I don’t have to wake up at 4:30am to run 13.1 miles in the rain like I did last Sunday. Don’t get me wrong, Pittsburgh Marathon weekend is one of my favorite times of the year. Especially this year since my son won his first medal in the Toddler Trot on Saturday, after which we took advantage of the beautiful weather by meandering around the Strip District and carbo-loading on Bella Notte pizza.

Regardless, sleeping in on the weekend is really just the best thing in the world. Seriously, 90% of the reason that I don’t subscribe to any organized religion is so that I don’t have to worry about waking up for church. I realize that I’m risking eternal damnation, but the idea of my alarm going off at 7:00am on a Sunday morning sounds enough like hell already that I’m willing to risk it.

Alright, enough self-condemnation. Let’s get on to an all-new, all-different Week in Tweets before I’m struck by a bolt of lightning!

5) Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist)

Being an adult is when you always want to be drunk but know you couldn’t handle being any sleepier so you hardly drink at all.

PREACH! I seriously can’t stay awake anymore if I have more than two drinks. Turns out that parenthood is the original roofie…

4) Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses)

Buying new clothes for kids is like putting new clothes on a werewolf just before they transform.

We’ve given up buying nice outfits for our three-year old son. He can’t go five seconds without staining his clothes. I watched him push a handful of dirt down his pants the other day, which was bad enough, but then he dumped a bucket of water on himself. He deemed his fashion invention “mud-derwear”. It’s admittedly a clever title but I don’t really think that Janie and Jack will be calling him anytime for style suggestions…

3) ruby (@rubyjnkie)

One of these days I am going to light my grill and burn my eyebrows clean off.

Sounds cheaper and no less painful than threading!

2) SuperSardonicTart™ (@SardonicTart)

Interviewer: What do you do to feel fulfilled?

Me: Mostly just eat stuff.

I’ll add this one to my list of overdue skill endorsements that need to be added to LinkedIn:

Eating Stuff
Dabbing
Sleeping In
Keeping It Real
Trusting Big Butts and Smiles

1) gokitty (@gokitty)

dear lord gnocchi is filling

“Lord Gnocchi” is my new favorite rap name…

Below is a pic of Oscar sleeping on my bed at night after being worn out from a long day of napping on my couch. Have a wonderful weekend everybody!

oscccnight

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