The Week in Tweets – September 9, 2016

T.G.I. Friday and T.G.I. Football! Not only does the NFL regular season kick-off in earnest this Sunday, but Heinz Field will really be rockin’ tomorrow when Pitt squares off against PSU in a college football rivalry that’s been dormant for over fifteen years.

My wife is a Penn State grad, whereas I am a University of Pittsburgh alum, so my three-year old son’s loyalties are split down the middle. Will he root for the hometown Panthers, or curry favor with his Mama by cheering on her Nittany Lions?

My prediction is that he’ll sit through about two minutes of the game before yelling for the television channel to be switched over to Nickelodeon. In my son’s eyes, no real-life sporting event can compare with watching The Adventure Bay All-Stars take on the Foggy Bottom Boomers in the Paw Patrol episode “Pups Save a Basketball Game.” Even though he’s seen it 1,273 times, it’s always a nail-biter!!

Alright, enough football (and dog basketball) talk. Let’s get to an all-new, all-different Week in Tweets!

5 – tie) Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist)

a fun thing about being a parent is when people ask “where do you see yourself in 5 yrs?” you can confidently answer “folding laundry” 

LIMEARITA PAPI (@arealgdtime)

Bought a shirt instead of doing laundry

I’m almost to the point of laziness where I eschew shopping AND laundering and just stop wearing clothes.

4) Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom)

Establish dominance over the other moms on Facebook by posting 2nd day of school pictures.

The amount of photos taken of kids by their parents these days is astronomically greater than back when I was a child. Personally, I’m averaging about two-thousand pics of my son a year. From birth to high school graduation, I’m going to estimate the number of polaroids taken of me by my parents to be closer to a hundred…total. Does that mean that my parents’ generation didn’t love their kids as much as we do now? Yes. Yes, it does…

3) Simon Holland (@simoncholland)

*tries to wave goodbye to the genie without spilling my 3 giant milkshakes*

If I ever encounter a magical genie who grants me three wishes, I’m definitely asking for (1) a cure for cancer, (2) world peace, and (3) the ability to eat unlimited breadsticks without ever having to set foot in an Olive Garden.

2) beth loves cake, so (@bourgeoisalien)

If I could have dinner with anybody living or dead I’d pick the dead guy. Then I’d order two dinners and eat both. Fuck that guy. He’s dead

I’m now going to amend my three wishes to include “dinner with dead Abraham Lincoln.” Sorry world peace.

1) Sean’s Ramblings (@seansramblings)

I think that my speed and amount of land covered to prevent my son’s wiffleball from going under a car would rival most MLB outfielders.

There should be a Dad Olympics where fathers can compete in such real-life tests of skill such as:

  • preventing balls from rolling under cars
  • navigating a packed Target while pushing a shopping cart full of cat litter and carrying a tantrum-throwing toddler who refuses to sit in the child seat
  • stepping on Legos and not swearing and/or taking the Lord’s name in vain

Go Pitt! Go Penn State! Go Steelers! Go Sports! Have a wonderful weekend everybody!

rfo

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