The Week in Tweets – August 5, 2016

Hooray for Friday! Here’s my itinerary for the weekend:

Friday – beer and pizza

Saturday – pizza and beer

Sunday – leftover pizza and whatever’s left of the beer

Now that’s my kinda weekend! But before we get to that, let’s run through an all-new, all-different Week in Tweets!!

6 – tie) Hand Solo™ (@RdrJay47)

You can’t claim to be a pizza lover until you eat the box cheese.

Nope Jessie (@jessienope)

omg i tried to dip mcnuggets while driving & almost died, i couldve ended up like that cyclist i clipped

Remember three years ago when Detroit Lions WR Nate Burleson broke his arm in a car crash when he took his hands off the wheel to save a pizza from sliding off of his passenger seat. Stories like that put everything into perspective. I mean, imagine if he wasn’t able stop the pizza? How horrible would that have been? #NeverForget

5) Beulah Maud Devaney (@TheNotoriousBMD)

*writes “move location from bed to sofa” on to-do list*

*marks it as done*

*pats self on back*

Number one on my to-do list every day is *wake-up*. Number two is *number two*.

4) aly (@WElRDAL)

I need potatoes in my life

I believe that it was the great Leonardo da Vinci who said “A life without potatoes is no life at all.”

3) cash hew (@CashewSpell)

I am farting all over this target I’M SORRY TARGET

Though farting while shopping is frowned upon in Target, it’s actually mandated at Walmart.

2) Nope Jessie (@jessienope)

my yard brings all the boys to the yard & they’re like “thats a really nice yard” damn right thats a really nice yard i could mow it but nah

Mowing the lawn really sucks. At least that’s what I assume since I pay someone to mow mine for me…

1) leahbron james (@wellthatblowes)

when all else fails, buy a block of muenster and hope for the best

Muenster is not only one of my most favorite cheeses to eat, but I also love the name because it reminds me of the Munsters television show. Below is a list of my other top-ranked cheese names, along with the ones I think are the worst.

Best Cheese Names
Affineur Walo Le Gruyère
Moot-zah-rell (or mozzarella for you non-pisans.)
Muenster
Brimstone (this cheese sounds tasty as hell!)
Formagella
Cornish Smuggler
Cameo (word up!)
Baronerosso di Capra (sounds like the name of female mafia boss.)
Etzy Ketzy
Gouda

Worst Cheese Names
Brick (how f*cking noncreative is this name?!)
Rollot
Sonoma Jack (I think I once ate at a crappy restaurant named Sonoma Jack during a layover at LAX.)
Lil Moo
Baron Bigod (this sounds like the name of some lame-ass DC Comics supervillain.)
Blue Vein
Carrot Rebel
Lemon Fetish (do not Google this one at work.)
Edith
Goat Log (sounds like a euphemism for a seriously large piece of poop; used here in an example tweet “sh*t for the 1st time all week and stuffed the toilet with the biggest turd ever! #GOATLOG”)

Below is a picture of Rachel and Oscar settling down for their 14th nap of the day. Have a wonderful weekend everybody!

wt8

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