August 5, 2016
Hooray for Friday! Here’s my itinerary for the weekend:
Friday – beer and pizza
Saturday – pizza and beer
Sunday – leftover pizza and whatever’s left of the beer
Now that’s my kinda weekend! But before we get to that, let’s run through an all-new, all-different Week in Tweets!!
6 – tie) Hand Solo™ (@RdrJay47)
You can’t claim to be a pizza lover until you eat the box cheese.
Nope Jessie (@jessienope)
omg i tried to dip mcnuggets while driving & almost died, i couldve ended up like that cyclist i clipped
Remember three years ago when Detroit Lions WR Nate Burleson broke his arm in a car crash when he took his hands off the wheel to save a pizza from sliding off of his passenger seat. Stories like that put everything into perspective. I mean, imagine if he wasn’t able stop the pizza? How horrible would that have been? #NeverForget
5) Beulah Maud Devaney (@TheNotoriousBMD)
*writes “move location from bed to sofa” on to-do list*
*marks it as done*
*pats self on back*
Number one on my to-do list every day is *wake-up*. Number two is *number two*.
4) aly (@WElRDAL)
I need potatoes in my life
I believe that it was the great Leonardo da Vinci who said “A life without potatoes is no life at all.”
3) cash hew (@CashewSpell)
I am farting all over this target I’M SORRY TARGET
Though farting while shopping is frowned upon in Target, it’s actually mandated at Walmart.
2) Nope Jessie (@jessienope)
my yard brings all the boys to the yard & they’re like “thats a really nice yard” damn right thats a really nice yard i could mow it but nah
Mowing the lawn really sucks. At least that’s what I assume since I pay someone to mow mine for me…
1) leahbron james (@wellthatblowes)
when all else fails, buy a block of muenster and hope for the best
Muenster is not only one of my most favorite cheeses to eat, but I also love the name because it reminds me of the Munsters television show. Below is a list of my other top-ranked cheese names, along with the ones I think are the worst.
Best Cheese Names
Affineur Walo Le Gruyère
Moot-zah-rell (or mozzarella for you non-pisans.)
Brimstone (this cheese sounds tasty as hell!)
Cameo (word up!)
Baronerosso di Capra (sounds like the name of female mafia boss.)
Worst Cheese Names
Brick (how f*cking noncreative is this name?!)
Sonoma Jack (I think I once ate at a crappy restaurant named Sonoma Jack during a layover at LAX.)
Baron Bigod (this sounds like the name of some lame-ass DC Comics supervillain.)
Lemon Fetish (do not Google this one at work.)
Goat Log (sounds like a euphemism for a seriously large piece of poop; used here in an example tweet “sh*t for the 1st time all week and stuffed the toilet with the biggest turd ever! #GOATLOG”)
Below is a picture of Rachel and Oscar settling down for their 14th nap of the day. Have a wonderful weekend everybody!