July 29, 2016
It’s Friday! Let’s get on to an all-new Week in Tweets before we blink ours eyes and it’s time to go back to work!
5) courtney (@CourtneySanto)
Could someone please tell me why the Thong Song is in my head????
Maybe it’s because you like to dance on the hip-hop spots and cruise to the groove like connect the dots?
4) Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz)
If I say “I’m pretty,” it’s not narcissism. I just haven’t quite finished a sentence that will eventually end with “tired.”
3 – tie) katrina (@ohhkatrina)
there have got to be more alternate spellings of “Caitlyn” than any other name in the world. I can’t keep up.
Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass)
You can tell a lot about a person by the name they choose for their baby.
My wife is expecting a baby girl in November and we’ve narrowed it down to four choices – Rose, Dorothy, Sophia or Blanche…
2) WendyDarling (@wendchymes)
I’m gonna open a gym in my home for millennials and charge them to do fitness challenges like-
Swiffer the stairs or empty the dishwasher.
You should also make them pay you to wax your car and paint your house and call it a karate class!
2) Damien Owens (@OwensDamien)
I hear you, Sanders supporters who plan to vote Trump. One time I asked for Coke but they only had Pepsi, so I set fire to my head.
I think that’s what happened to Michael Jackson back in ’84…
1) Hitmonjake (@jake_likes_naps)
*describes my ideal pizza on my dating profiles About Me section*
I also wrote “large pepperoni” in my Match.com About Section but I wasn’t talking ‘bout pizza!!
Below is a Prisma-filtered pic of Oscar and Rachel snuggling. Have a wonderful weekend everybody!