The Week in Tweets – May 15, 2016

Here’s a better-late-than-never installment of an all-new, all-different Week in Tweets!

5) Basic Ally (@SarcasticAlly12)

Like, obviously I’m against a baby fight club on a moral basis but in terms of humor it’s gold

Much to my son’s delight, one of his friends from daycare happened to also be at the mall play area this past Friday night. He and my son proceeded to put on a hardcore display of wrestling not seen since the brutality of ECW in the late 2000s.

I was a little concerned at first, but the boys never resorted to any illegal moves (biting, eye-gouging, nut-punching), so the other parents and I never saw any reason to break it up. The boys absolutely loved it, and smiled from ear to ear after every DDT, One Handed Bulldog and People’s Elbow.

Part of me wished that I would have filmed it, but I wisely decided against it since most likely it would have ended up being used against me in a court of law. #BoysWillBeBoys

4) ortuist (@ortuist)

sometimes all it takes to feel better about yourself is a new haircut, a juice cleanse, daily meditation, years of psychoanalysis, a new body

I believe that it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said “Nothing can bring you peace but pizza” and I strive to live by those words…

3) Candace (@rockcandy87)

I immediately regret eating mac n cheese

I immediately regret NOT eating mac n cheese!

2) Shannon Plush (@shannonplush)

I need to get married so he can take the dog I want on walks when it’s cold so I don’t have to. That’s what husbands do, right?

Yes! However, since my wife and I have cats instead of dogs, my husbandly doody duty is to scoop out the litter box. She used to share this responsibility, but stopped when she became pregnant four years ago due to the risk of toxoplasmosis. She also stopped grocery shopping, making the bed, cooking, vacuuming and cleaning out her hair from the shower drain but I’m not sure if that has anything to do with toxoplasmosis or not…

1) Eva (@evamariex387)

Surround yourself with pizza not negativity.

Now that’s something we can all agree on!

Below is a Rachel selfie. Have a wonderful Sunday everybody!

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